I've given up on fashion.

Florals. Skulls. Floral print intertwined with skulls. Bedazzled tops. Boxy shapes. Cold shoulders.

Perfectly summed up, plus-size fashion be like:

everythings.fine

A post shared by @everythings.fine

Add to that being Canadian and really only having two easily accessible bricks-and-mortar stores to go to that carry my size 4x (but really only one because Pennington’s rarely works for me, therefore my whole closet has become Torrid).

And while there are really cool online clothing options available, because I’m in Canada, you’ve got to add the currency conversion, being charged for converting currency, being charged for shipping, and then being charged 13% customs duty on import into Canada. And then if I want to return/exchange anything, it’s shipping costs again and then customs duty…again.

So, I’ve pretty much given up on fashion. I have no idea what my style is anymore. I enviously follow IG fatshionistas.

I convince myself it’s ok because 98% of my life is lived from the clavicle up via zoom meetings. A v-neck t-shirt and tights are my uniform.

Enter

Dacy Gillespie

of Mindful Closet and

unflattering

Substack. Dacy is an anti-diet personal stylist who I read about on

Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith

and heard about from my marketing consultant Amanda Laird.

I decided to reach out and see if Dacy would talk (read: help!!!) me re-connect to the joy of expressing myself through clothing.

I’d had the idea to create a “Fat Joy Allies” segment for my Substack because there are a lot of non-fat folks out there doing really impactful anti-diet work, and while the focus of the Fat Joy Podcast has been specifically on fat people sharing their stories, I think our fat allies should also get a shout-out, and this Substack newsletter is the perfect spot for it.

Dacy agreed to chat with me, and you can watch the whole video conversation above. She takes me through a shortened version of her individual client process, and the insightful questions about my early relationship to clothes and fashion brought up a lot of memories and feelings that are absolutely impacting my currently relationship to clothing.

My fave part is when Dacy says she can tell that I’ve given up.

Since our conversation, I did a full closet edit, dropped off two large suitcases of clothes to Consign Your Curves, three garbage bags full went to the Salvation Army, two garbage bags to the dump, and have attempted the capsule wardrobe approach. If I hadn’t worn it in a year, it was consigned or donated. No excuses! This was really really hard, but I stuck to it, and it feels soooo good to have a spaciously organized closet where I can actually see my options.

This is *all* of my clothing now. Bring on the jewel tones.

I’m also getting more experimental with my choices. Dacy says in our conversation that she sees me in geometric pants and a bright top, and I’ve just ordered wide leg, challis, black and white diamond patterned pants that I’m going to pair with a loud-green top with white flowers on it and maybe an oversized dress shirt with multi-coloured stripes.

With some tax write-off monies returned, I invested in my first slow fashion purchases: two jackets from Beautiful Genius (the frogs and the angle babies) and a jungle peach robe from Peridot Robes.

Am I fashionable now? Just looking at my closet has me wanting to go out to live music, patio dinners, and secret speakeasies.

My deep thanks to Dacy for inspiring and motivating me and for being a fat ally. I hope you enjoy the conversation and it sparks something for you as well.